Corrupt a wish!

Granted, only problem is it only airs at Antarctica.

I to know why my cat has an urge to make confetti out of every cardboard box in the house.

granted, but the reason involves a secret plan to take over the world. Your cat realizes you know too much and kills you in your sleep. ogawd that was dark

I wish that what I do next works in my favor...

Granted. You're business ventures have finally paid off! Take a walk on the Boardwalk. Ooops. Mushy has a Hotel on it. $2,000 pl0x.
Great chance card, but unlucky usage.

I wish for the new Wish v.5.2 with a turbocharged zip-code.

Wish granted, but this version was released with so much security issues, thus crashing upon each opening. Eventually corrupting said wish.

I wish for an ice cream maker.

Granted. But it only accepts your milk. For ice creams. [Report wehasband]

I wish to be the very best, the best there ever was.

Got milk?

You became the very best, like no one ever was. You were able to catch them, your real test. You trained them, which was your cause. Then everything changed, after...

"The Accident."

and now you can barely stand.

I wish I can hover exactly six inches above whatever surface is under me.

You can no screw physics over , but you can't get any friction on anything. Chair sitting has gotten a lot more awkward.

I wish for dance animations in Spiral Knights.

Granted, but they are horrible dances like twerking that flaunt everything that is wrong with our new generation. Worst of all is the majority now finds this new animation funny. You can't even walk down the streets of Haven without being chased by flocks of squires that wish to dance this horrible dance with you.

I wish for a scepter that allows anyone I touch it with to become fluent in the ways of society.